She's JV to your varsity
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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