Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
