Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
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