i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
OMGGG I JUST SAW A REAL OWL JUST CHILLING ON TOP OF A SIGN POST. I WALKED UP TO HIM AND SAID HOO HOOOOO AND HE TURNED HIS HEAD AT ME AND WAS LIKE YEAHHH BRO
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Randomize
