Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I just had sex on a roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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