So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Everclear isn't food dammit
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Randomize
