I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
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