Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
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margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
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We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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