she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
How does it feel to date your dad?
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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