I can't watch pbs sober anymore
another moral hangover. fuck.
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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