erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
