I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
my sisters under your porch take her home
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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