Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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