So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You were trust falling into bushes
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize
