I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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