Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
