Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
I tried exercising today. I ended up masturbating to the Wii fit trainer.
I am going to be fat forever.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
