i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
