I wanna bring you to show and tell
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
I had to cum in my sink.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
