Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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