Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Randomize
