she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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