The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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