I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
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