I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Randomize
