I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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