So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
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