Whod you bang
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
