I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
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