ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
false alarm. still invincible.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
The feeling are messing with the penis
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
