Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
