I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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