i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
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