Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Randomize
