My nipple is on Facebook.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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