All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I have to confess something, I may or may not have knocked on your window at 2:30 am while balancing on some guys hands. We found tequila.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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