Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Randomize
