Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
