i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Randomize
