overheard a conversation between 2 lesbians: 'back when I used to have dick sex...' oh, vegas, I so heart you
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
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