He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
