so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Randomize
