Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
home. puking in laundry basket.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would ride that face into the sunset
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
