Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two words: blizzard sex
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize