He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
