you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
