Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
