He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
