U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
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Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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