Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
