Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
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