You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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