I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
I will be naked everywhere
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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