omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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