Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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