the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
